


(Nothing) would be okay again

by Octoberrose11



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, LMAO, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, grey ace liam payne, how does one write porn, this was suppose to be fluffy, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:24:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octoberrose11/pseuds/Octoberrose11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is for my babe westsideandpeacesigns aka Lauren!!! </p><p>One moment he was curled up on his side of the couch and the next he was in Zayn’s arms sobbing so hard he couldn’t breath, Zayn’s voice in his ear telling him everything would be okay. </p><p>Liam couldn’t help but wonder if he was hysterical as he let out a laugh through his sobs, thinking that it couldn’t be okay with his world being so turned upside down, so fucked up. He had feelings for his best friend and nothing would be okay again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Nothing) would be okay again

**Author's Note:**

> okay first of all this is for my iMessage group, Lauren, Link, Aricka, Tiffany, Mick, and I think that's all of you. But mostly this is for Lauren because she's my bby and I love her a lot. Send her some love on tumblr.

It’s the first time he’s been back to England since Zayn had left the band and it’s not as welcoming as he remembers. It’s also the first time he’s been back since he and Sophia broke up, the publicity stunt over for good. Perrie and Zayn had broke up too, he had heard, and though he hadn’t offered any condolences at the time he figured while he was in the neighborhood he should do so now. 

Shifting his weight between his feet nervously he knocked on Zayn’s bright red door, biting his lip, a nervous habit he had never really grown out of even five years of being famous. He waited a beat before convincing himself that Zayn wasn’t home (even though his car was parked in front of the house) and turned to leave when the door opened. 

“Liam?” Zayn blinked at him sleepily, like he had just woken up. Knowing Zayn it wasn’t that far out of the question, everyone and their dad knew that Zayn liked his sleep. He was shirtless, hair a disarray finally having started growing out from where he had shaved it. His eyes were a little red too, on the wrong side of puffy- had he been crying? Maybe he’d come at a bad time. 

“Hey.” Hey nervously raised a hand to greet him. “I, uh....” Suddenly all his media training, all his poise, was out the window. And this was Zayn! One of his best friends! One of his, shudders, brothers. “I was just coming by to see how you are?” Lame Liam, really lame. You’ve been making conversations with this guy for over five years, don’t go back to the shy unconfident guy from before. 

Zayn nods slowly, leaning against the door frame. “D’ya wanna maybe come in? It smells a lil like weed right now, cause Ant was over but I’an open a window or s’thin.”

Liam finally looked up at him and looked him in the eye. “Sure, I can come in for a while.” 

Zayn smiles at him, his tongue pressed against his teeth and his eyes crinkled, the way he’s always smiled at Liam, shouldering the door farther open. “Well come in then. You know you are always welcome here, bro.”

Liam shuffled in, his eyes on his feet again, taking a seat on the white worn sofa he knows well. The boys had written more then one song there, had had more then one hangover spread out over each other, elbows in faces and knees in crotches and hands entangled in each others hair. It was on this couch Niall had had his first kiss with a guy, Louis and Harry had become official with rings and everything. It’s where at a band meeting Liam had finally managed to utter that he thought he might be asexual. The boys supported him and helped him research until he finally came upon a label he thought best fit him: grey ace. 

Zayn was busying himself around the room, opening windows to air it out like he had said, no doubt, that done he picked up the bag of weed that was on the coffee table and headed to the kitchen with it. “I’ll be right back, babe, just gonna put this away.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll be here.” He kicked off his shoes and curled up on the side of the couch, untucking a throw Zayn kept on the corner. 

He came back and smiled, looking please, and a lot more awake. “So.” He drew the word out. “What’s up bro?” He sat down on the other side of the couch, legs curled up under him.

“Nothing.” Liam quickly shook his head, his hand going to run throw his hair. “We just got back from tour you know and-”

“What’s that?” Zayn grabbed his wrist. 

“What’s what?”

“That.” He jerked his arm around the look at the two new tattoos that adorned his arm. 

“Oh.” Nervously clearing his throat Liam couldn’t meet Zayn’s eyes. “They’re nothing really. Just some wicked cool ideas I saw that I liked.” 

Zayn ran his thumb along the “but we are the silent ones” tattoo. “Liam.”

“It doesn’t mean anything! It’s just a stupid tattoo!”

“Liam. That’s Louis or Harry’s line babe, not yours.”

Liam drawls in a deep breath, angry in a way he hasn’t been in a long time. “It’s for me and Niall if you want to know.” He lies through his teeth. He lies through his teeth and he knows Zayn knows it but for one moment he hopes that Zayn buys it, that Zayn allows him this. 

“Liam. Babe we’ve been fighting this a long time, don’t you think?”

Liam shakes his head, angry tears rushing to his eyes. He doesn’t have feelings for Zayn. He doesn’t have feelings for his best friend, for his ex band mate, one of the only people who has stood by him through everything the past few years, who comforted him with he and Danielle broke up and when management had decided he should date his childhood friend Sophia. He didn’t have feelings for Zayn even though he always felt better when he was around, like the world was a brighter place. He didn’t have feelings for Zayn even though Zayn always pushed him to be a better person and made him laugh. He didn’t have feelings for Zayn even though he had gotten off to the thought of Zayn more then once. 

....He had feelings for Zayn. 

The damn broke. 

One moment he was curled up on his side of the couch and the next he was in Zayn’s arms sobbing so hard he couldn’t breath, Zayn’s voice in his ear telling him everything would be okay. 

Liam couldn’t help but wonder if he was hysterical as he let out a laugh through his sobs, thinking that it couldn’t be okay with his world being so turned upside down, so fucked up. He had feelings for his best friend and nothing would be okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on tumblr at iliveinlouisass!
> 
> There is suppose to be a part two to this fic but with everything that's going on in fandom I just can't find it within myself to write it. Maybe some day I'll be inspired and write it but for now I'm going to say this is complete.


End file.
